But What If I’m Actually Just Behind?

By Ashley Graham-Wilcox

As I brainstormed topics for some new blog entries, I was reviewing the last several I’ve written for Caffeinated Church, and noticed something. Every few months, I write some variation of the same reassurance: You’re not behind.

You’re not behind, you’re discerning.
You’re not behind, you’re human.
You’re not behind, you’re doing the work.

All true. And also: What if I actually am just behind?

Because my Wednesday newsletter keeps going out on Friday. I had to reschedule a long-standing meeting last week when I flubbed time zones and doublebooked, and I just transferred the same big project from last week’s to-do list to next’s — for the umpteenth time. (Not to mention, my son has not had a week of school since it began in August that didn’t involve some kind of half-day or day off. And of course there’s all the doom-scrolling and screaming into the void.)

Maybe you know this version of behind: Where you’re technically keeping up, but the cracks are showing. The copy-paste errors, the answering emails from the grocery line, the mental math of “Can this wait until Advent?” I’m not failing exactly, but I’m also not firing on all cylinders. And I can’t quite tell if the problem is time, attention, or just the low-grade exhaustion of doing ministry in a world that keeps breaking and re-breaking every day.

The Ministry of Being Behind

Church communications is basically one long rolling deadline. There’s always something coming: Next Sunday’s slides, next month’s stewardship appeal, next year’s website redesign — oh, and, by the way, could you just post about this weekend’s choir concert really quick? And it’s all good work, but it’s also constant work (Some other time, we’ll get into the question of if it’s all necessary work.).

But, what if what we call “behind” is actually just “midstream”? It’s being interrupted by real life — by funerals, by printer issues, by another world event that changes the tone of your pre-scheduled post (Sometimes even for the good! This past week, I was caught up on all the weekly responsibilities for one church I work with, ready to use all of Friday to tackle some of that aforementioned rinse-and-repeat to-do list, when I received a text from the Rector: “I feel like I should get out an email about the new Archbishop. Do you have time today?”

So, yes, I’m behind. But I’m also responding — to people, to the world, to what’s needed right now. And if that’s true, maybe “behind” is just another word for present.

Still, Here Are Some Things That Help

If you’re reading this in the same boat, here are a few end-of-year ways to gently catch up, or at least breathe more easily before January — and, Lord help us, Lent, which begins February 18, 2026 — finds us again:

1. Batch something small: Write three intro paragraphs in one sitting, pay all your work subscriptions on the same day, draft all your December graphics at once, or, say, write blog entries to schedule through January 5... Momentum beats perfection. I recently spent a half-day reformatting my inherited Sunday announcement handout, so that every graphic that gets included can only correspond to ratios that also work in the e-news, on Instagram and Facebook, as a flyer, and for the screens in the church. Wholly satisfying.

2. Reconnect before you reorganize. Instead of tackling the whole EOY communications report, send one “thanks for reading” note to your email list. Remind yourself that these aren’t just audiences; they’re people.

3. Pick one recurring thing to automate or handoff: What could you delegate to a volunteer, colleague, or even a friendly teenager with Canva skills? Bulletin board updates, mailing list cleanup, social media scheduling — small handoffs can add up to real relief. As for automation, I’ll admit: I haven’t found many tasks I can truly automate yet. But I’m eager for new ideas from our upcoming October workshop, AI in the Church Office.

4. Make a “Do-Not-Do” list: Name one project you’ve been carrying, but realistically can’t finish before year’s end. Let it go on purpose, not by default. I will limit myself to one of these (And, yes, I already know what one.). My Enneagram 1s: I know how much this one hurts.

5. Give yourself a finish line. Pick a day in mid-December and decide: After this, it’s Advent quiet. Inbox zero isn’t the goal; enough is.

Maybe It’s Okay

I’ll still try to send Wednesday’s email on Wednesday. I’ll still try to remember to double-check my time zones. I’ll still try to make progress on the big-picture projects that matter. But when I inevitably miss a few — or shove it down that list, once again — I’ll try to remember that the work itself is supposed to be relational, not mechanical.

Sometimes, being behind just means you’re still human. And I think that’s quite enough.

The Gardener

Have I lived enough?
Have I loved enough?
Have I considered Right Action enough, have I come to any conclusions?
Have I experienced happiness with sufficient gratitude?
Have I endured loneliness with grace?

I say this, or perhaps I’m just thinking it.
Actually, I probably think too much.

Then I step out into the garden,
where the gardener, who is said to be a simple man,
is tending his children, the roses.

—Mary Oliver

☕ What’s one thing you could finish (or let go of) before the year ends that would make you feel caught up enough?